Boy it’s been a long time since I last posted. Again, I gotta say, I really admire those who keep up with their blog posts. I just get so lazy I don’t do anything but sit and eat. Notice I didn’t mention sleeping, I procrastinate sleep. I would stay up til the middle of the night even if I’m doing nothing. Time has a knack for passing you quickly. One minute I’m lying on the couch, the next time I look up at the clock a couple hours have gone and went. Then I go: oh wow, that was a productive five hours, do I remember what I did? oh right, I sat my enormous butt on this couch.
There, I hope that gives you a slight idea of how lazy I am.
Living in Vancouver, unexpected weather is a given. Two days ago it was sunny, then yesterday it was raining and today was a mix of rain and sun. Make up your mind already! I wish it could be sunny all the time! I LOVE sunshine, it adds a skip to my step and I just feel a happy glow from inside when the sun is out :) I feel so renewed and happy.
I’ve asked myself so many times, how do you find happiness? It sounds so simple to be happy right? But then I thought about it for the longest time and I asked myself: have I ever been truly happy?
For the past little while I have been very confused and lost about what I want to do with my life. At 17, I know this shouldn’t be a worry, but I couldn’t help it! I was applying for universities and I’m soon gonna be choosing courses! I’m forced to think about what I want to be! For the longest time I THOUGHT I wanted to be an accountant. So I applied for business. It’s a tough faculty to get into and though I kept telling myself that I wouldn’t get in so I could embrace myself for the worse, part of me really wanted to get accepted still.
I got my rejection letter from this faculty a month ago. Before I even opened it I already could tell that it was a rejection because otherwise they would’ve sent me a giant package with the program details right? I was sad, but I wasn’t devastated. Full realization regarding my rejection finally sunk in the next day and devastation hit me like a brick. I cried, and cried, and cried some more. I couldn’t have felt more lost. It’s like I was on track this whole time and I was going full speed ahead to my destination but then I trip on a rock and stumble off course til I don’t even know where I am. I didn’t want to go into my second choice program. I felt like a loser. I felt like I disappointed my family. I let myself down. I tried to put the blame on other things, like procrastination, but I still remained miserable. I was downright depressed.
Rejection from business wasn’t the only thing that bothered me though. I won’t get into more things though, this post is depressing enough. Sorry you had a read that. Whoever you are. If there’s anyone out there reading this. Anyone? Anyone at all?
Up until two days ago I was the saddest girl ever. I questioned my determination and mental strength and tried to define myself. I still don’t know what defines me and how to find yourself and your values, but I’ve learned to embrace those unanswerable questions. Maybe someday I’ll find out, but for now, I just want to live in the present. So what happened two days ago? I went to a dinner party with a bunch of older people who are already in university. I asked a lot of them what they want to be, and most of them answered: I’m actually not sure. And they laughed bout it too.
That’s when the light bulb went off in my head. Why am I so uptight and worried about the future? Things can change, things will change. Rejection isn’t the end of the world. It seems like the obvious to do and what I should’ve done, but somehow it didn’t occur to me until now. Why am I wasting all my time sulking? It’s my last high school year! I’m so used to always being successful that I crumbled at this tiny problem. I’m glad I experienced this rough time though, I feel that I’ve learned so much about myself that I hadn’t known before.
Why do we fall? To pick ourselves back up.
We crumble, so we can put ourselves back together.
That rejection was a wake-up call. I’m glad it happened, thank you for rejecting me UBC.
I’m awake now.
When I first read the ingredients for this biscotti, I said: where’s the butter?! I was skeptical about whether this would turn out good or not because I believe that butter is the cause of all things goods. It makes the world a tastier place. But I went ahead with it anyways and they were alright! They could’ve been better because I over baked them. The final product was rock hard (ahaha, see another baking fail) but it tasted fairly good. I got this recipe from Lick the Bowl Good (her blog is awesome!) who got it from Confections of a Foodie Bride. I made a couple changes to recipe because I didn’t have some ingredients on hand, like almond extract. The next time I make these though, I’m gonna change up the recipe even more.
White Chocolate Cranberry and Almond Biscotti
Adapted from Lick the Bowl Good who got it from Confections of a Foodie Bride
- 3 cups all purpose flour
- 2 tsp baking powder
- 1/2 tsp salt
- 1 cup sugar
- 3 large eggs
- 2 Tbsp vegetable oil
- 2 tsp vanilla extract
- 1 cup almonds
- 1 cup dried cranberries
- some chocolate for dipping ( I used white and milk)
Preheat oven to 350°F.
Whisk flour, baking powder, and salt in medium bowl to blend. Beat sugar, eggs, oil, and vanilla extract in large bowl until well blended. Add flour mixture and beat until smooth. Stir in almonds and dried cranberries. Divide dough in half and form into two 12-inch-long strips on prepared baking sheet, spacing strips 3 inches apart. Shape each strip into 3-inch-wide logs, pressing for even thickness. If the nuts or cranberries poke out of the log you can choose to press them into the dough slightly to hide them. I, on the otherhand, just left them on top because I thought it would add to nice visual. We eat with our eyes too :)
Bake logs until lightly browned, about 30 minutes. Cool logs on sheet for a minimum of 30 minutes. (I only cooled mine for 5 mins, I’m impatient) Reduce oven temperature to 325°F. Carefully transfer logs to cutting board and slice pieces that are around 1.5 inches thick. Place them back on the same baking sheet making sure to stand the biscotti upright, spacing about 1/4 inch apart. Bake until they’re just lightly browned for about 20 minutes. Then take the biscotti out of the oven and cool them on the baking sheet.
If you choose to dip your biscotti in chocolate, just take a baking sheet and line it with some waxed/parchment paper, melt some chocolate in a dish and dip away! Place the dipped biscotti on the prepared sheet and refrigerate until the chocolate sets.