Here comes the waterworks
Soooo… I GOT ACCEPTED INTO DIETETICS!!!!!
I was so happy when I got my acceptance email that I started crying immediately… at work… in front of new coworkers… and I didn’t give a bleep. My friend caught the video of me and I will be forever thankful because that was probably the best moment of my life.
How weird was it for you to finally hear my voice? Ahaha! Was it as you imagined it to be?
Two thoughts after I watched the video:
1. I need to lay off the cake and cookies.
2. 20/5?!?!?! What was I thinking?!?!? It was more like 200000000000000000/5
You guys were some of the first people to hear about my anxiety and nervousness about applying to dietetics. About two years ago, I wrote this post where I fully expressed my self-loathing and feelings of unpreparedness. I hated myself for wasting time and not doing more (volunteering/working etc) to get into the program.
Over these past two years, I kept looking back to that post to remind myself of how bad it felt to be angry at myself. It served as a strong reminder and it was my fuel to keep going because I didn’t want to feel regret ever again. You guys gave me a lot of support and good advice which helped me get through a lot of struggles. Thank you. So so so so so much. I’m really glad to be able to share this good news with you.
I’ve been thinking of ways to reward myself for accomplishing this long-time goal of mine. Cookbook? Nope. Valrhona chocolate? Nah. New set of glass mixing bowls? No. Clothes? Nuh-uh. Not even a new KitchenAid mixer will make me happy because I realized I want something more than materialistic objects.
This ‘something’ that I have been craving is self-worth. For years I have been telling myself that I’m ‘not skinny enough’, ‘not tall enough’, ‘not smart enough’, ‘not pretty’, ‘not deserving of dietetics because there are probably people out there who are so much better’, and the list goes on. I have deprived myself of acknowledgement and compliments because I was afraid that too much confidence would get to my head. I constantly put myself down to stay grounded and continually work towards being better. I was my own and only competitor. I never let myself enjoy any successes because I am a strong believer that there is always more to learn. It’s been really tiring because I never gave myself the chance to stop and look at how far I’ve come. For me, it was always go go go go go, do more, see more, be more. All I want to do is now is to sit back and enjoy the view from here before I start climbing again.
I’m crying as I’m writing this right now because it feels so liberating to finally tell myself that I AM good enough. I set a goal to become a dietitian, I overcame the pressures of competition, I didn’t let my skeptical parents bring me down, and I thrived through the difficulties of balancing school, volunteering and work. Most importantly, I never lost sight of my goal, even though it took me 3 years to get here.
I did it. I’m finally on my way to become a dietitian and I’ve never been happier.