Here comes the waterworks


I was so happy when I got my acceptance email that I started crying immediately… at work… in front of new coworkers… and I didn’t give a bleep. My friend caught the video of me and I will be forever thankful because that was probably the best moment of my life.

How weird was it for you to finally hear my voice? Ahaha! Was it as you imagined it to be?

Two thoughts after I watched the video:

1. I need to lay off the cake and cookies.

2. 20/5?!?!?! What was I thinking?!?!? It was more like 200000000000000000/5

You guys were some of the first people to hear about my anxiety and nervousness about applying to dietetics. About two years ago, I wrote this post where I fully expressed my self-loathing and feelings of unpreparedness. I hated myself for wasting time and not doing more (volunteering/working etc) to get into the program.

Over these past two years, I kept looking back to that post to remind myself of how bad it felt to be angry at myself. It served as a strong reminder and it was my fuel to keep going because I didn’t want to feel regret ever again. You guys gave me a lot of support and good advice which helped me get through a lot of struggles. Thank you. So so so so so much. I’m really glad to be able to share this good news with you.

I’ve been thinking of ways to reward myself for accomplishing this long-time goal of mine. Cookbook? Nope. Valrhona chocolate? Nah. New set of glass mixing bowls? No. Clothes? Nuh-uh. Not even a new KitchenAid mixer will make me happy because I realized I want something more than materialistic objects.

This ‘something’ that I have been craving is self-worth. For years I have been telling myself that I’m ‘not skinny enough’, ‘not tall enough’, ‘not smart enough’, ‘not pretty’, ‘not deserving of dietetics because there are probably people out there who are so much better’, and the list goes on. I have deprived myself of acknowledgement and compliments because I was afraid that too much confidence would get to my head. I constantly put myself down to stay grounded and continually work towards being better. I was my own and only competitor. I never let myself enjoy any successes because I am a strong believer that there is always more to learn. It’s been really tiring because I never gave myself the chance to stop and look at how far I’ve come. For me, it was always go go go go go, do more, see more, be more. All I want to do is now is to sit back and enjoy the view from here before I start climbing again.Β 

I’m crying as I’m writing this right now because it feels so liberating to finally tell myself that I AM good enough. I set a goal to become a dietitian, I overcame the pressures of competition, I didn’t let my skeptical parents bring me down, and I thrived through the difficulties of balancing school, volunteering and work. Most importantly, I never lost sight of my goal, even though it took me 3 years to get here.

I did it. I’m finally on my way to become a dietitian and I’ve never been happier.Β 


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20 thoughts on “Here comes the waterworks

  1. Congratulations! That’s so awesome, and I love what you wrote about self worth. I’m so glad you’re able to look back on the journey so far to becoming a dietician and learned something and you’re able to find self worth in yourself. Good luck with school!

  2. You are amazing and you so deserve this. I am incredibly happy for you!

    (and your voice is actually how I imagined it! hehe!)

  3. WAHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!! Who the eff cares about what people think around you – Cry all you want! They’re probably all jealous that you’re one step closer to getting exactly what you want in life. I am stoked for you, congrats!

  4. Brittany says:

    I AM SO PROUD OF YOU!! I vividly remember your post about feeling not worthy. I AM so proud and INSPIRED by your fight and drive to accomplish this goal!! You have made it!! I LOVE THIS POST!

  5. Cakebrain says:

    Totally fantastic! Congratulations! The best part of this is the fact that you are allowing yourself to finally enjoy the fruits of your labour and perseverance. I’m glad you’re acknowledging your self worth! Successful people have GRIT and you dear exemplify this. Let me just generalize and say that your parents sound totally like my parents when I was in university.. in the fact that they poo-poo on degrees in anything other than medicine, busines or engineering! lol! I was a major disappointment pursuing my degree in English (gasp) and now look where it got me! If you stick to your passions you’ll go far. It won’t be a job. It won’t feel like work. It’ll be a career. You rock girl! Go celebrate!

    • you make me sound so much better than i probably am! ahaha! i will remember your comment when im feeling low. πŸ™‚

      i wanted to ask you, hows your masters program going? im glad that neither of us listened to our parents because we are so much happier with what we have now! typical asian parents and their emphasis on med/business/engineering/law, ptffffff πŸ˜›

  6. Patty says:

    That is incredible!!! Congratulations Connie! It couldnt have happend to a better person πŸ™‚ This was so inspiring and I am so excited for you!

  7. Kaitlin Berris says:

    You’re so lucky…I was all by myself when I read my acceptance letter and my insta-crying really made it hard to talk on the phone. My parents got it though hahahah LOVE that you got this caught on film, I can show people it and say “me too!” – Happy to have you in my 2016 Dietetics class!

    • Hi Kaitlin!

      omg! means to so much to me that you stopped by to read my blog!!!! ahhaha im jealous that your parents expressed enthusiasm and happiness for you! as you probably read, my mom didn’t really care that i got into dietetics lol

  8. katsohm says:

    Haha Connie I just read this and starting crying…re-living the moment. Ohh the joys of making your coworkers feel awkward with your crying hahaha

  9. […] of the box, and monitor my own pace to make sure that I was meeting all the deadlines. In May, I fulfilled a long-time goal of mine which was to earn a spot in the dietetics program. It has changed my life and I have never been happier. In October, I made it a priority of mine to […]

  10. mgawa says:

    Hello! I just happened to come across your blog and found out that you got into the program! Congrats! πŸ™‚ I am actually in 1st year at UBC, also looking to get into Dietetics. I read your earlier post about the pressure, the challenges and the regrets. I TOTALLY feel you, because right now, I’m struggling with the self-doubt that maybe I’m not trying hard enough, or maybe I’m just not good enough. But this post has motivated me to keep pushing and I just wanted to thank you for the inspiration! – May

    • Hi May!

      Thanks so much for dropping by. I’m glad you were able to take away a positive message from my blog post. All I can say is this: don’t give up! I knnow it’s super intimidating and it’s so easy to look at your competitors and think “omg they have so much experience than i do”, but don’t let that deter you from applying. I’ve been there, I know how never-racking it was to even think about not getting in! Truth is, you have as much of a chance as anyone else and you will bring a unique set of skills to the competition!

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