Category Archives: Life

The Great Reveal – My new blog

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The wait is over! I’m here to announce to you what my new blog is and how you can find me!

Drum roll please…

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http://www.chocolateandconnie.com/ 

See, I told you the name isn’t creative at all. It DOES sum me up pretty well though. If you know me in real life, then you know how crucial chocolate is to my life. My survival depends on chocolate. Hence the name chocolate + connie 🙂 we are one. Chocolate is my identifier.

Friends, thank you so much for your attention and support for the past 4 years. I wouldn’t be anywhere near where I am now if it weren’t for you. I especially have to thank Brittany and Kayle for always being there for me. They lifted me up when I went through rough times and they empowered me with their strong and bright personalities. They’re smart, humorous and talented women.. and they can make a heck of a dessert! So go drop by and give them some love.

If you would like to keep up with my blog (no pressure!), make sure to subscribe over at the new chocolate + connie site. That way, you get email notifications every time I write a new post. I have a ton of new recipes to share, one of which includes whiskey and caramel. I would love to continue sharing random stories about me and connect with you guys.

I’ll see you over there 🙂

This cookie monster is peacing out!

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I’m Moving!

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Huge announcement today: I’m moving!

Not houses this time, I’m moving into my own website domain

I’ve always wanted to purchase my own domain for several reasons:
1) have control over the look of my blog instead of being forced to use the themes provided by wordpress.com
2) have a little piece of the internet that belongs to me and not wordpress.com

The one thing that hindered this process was choosing a blog name!

I’m not the most creative person, so I kept coming up with typical names like “the sweet shop”, “the cakery”, “crumb”, “whisk” and so on. These names were either already taken by a bajillion other bloggers and companies or they just didn’t fit what I was looking for. Because I knew I had run out of creativity, I just kept waiting and waiting for that magic moment when something brilliant will just pop up into my head.

Two years passed. Nothing happened.

The most “brilliant” blog name that I could come up with was “chocolified” but that got shot down by my friends and family faster than when I asked them if I should inject chocolate into my veins.

Back to the drawing board it was and again, I got stuck in a rut. Eventually, I had to admit to myself that I will never come up with anything creative or innovative. That’s when I took a different direction with the whole name-creating process. If I can’t be witty, I’ll just find a name that sums up what my blog will be about.

I’m quite happy with what I decided on 🙂 You will have to wait to hear what it is! Some of you may already have a few guesses as to what it is since I was being an idiot and let it slip. Whoops. 

I bought my domain last Saturday and I was both excited and relieved to be finally moving forward in my blogging. My mind is always plagued by the thought that I could be doing more with my blog and tap into its greater potential. I couldn’t do anything about it when I was in school but now that it’s summer, I finally get to take this blog to the next level and get it to what I’ve been envisioning for the past couple of years!

I’ve never worked more hard and never been more absorbed into a task. I can spend hours on my laptop just editing away and reading up on coding, plugins, advertising companies and special social media functions. At the same time, I’m also responding to a bajillion emails, setting up a bajillion accounts, buying equipment and tools for my homebased bakery (my experiment for the summer!) and working 2 part time jobs. I must thank Google Keep for helping me stay organized during this hectic time!

I can get soooo absorbed into it that I can ignore my hunger, need to pee and thirst. My chocolate intake has also decreased substantially because I need both of my hands to work on the zee blog! I know, shocking right? This is coming from a girl who refuses to put down her food to hold an umbrella. I’d rather have my food and get soaked than have no food at all. 

Setting up this blog is the only thing on my mind these days! I started with a bunch of scattered pieces but it’s all finally starting to come together. I can’t wait to share it with you all 🙂

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Raspberry Chocolate Dutch Baby

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I want to share a personal story with you today. It’s about vulnerability and relationships.

Normally, I avoid talking about debbie-downer stuff on my blog but I feel that I should share the good and bad with you. This blog means a lot to me and I want to give you the chance to know me better. 

To give you some background, I need to take you back to 4 years ago. It was 2010 and I was in my senior year in highschool. I was in great relationship that I thought would never end. I know what you’re thinking, “naive” just popped up in your head, didn’t it? OK, maybe I was being naive, but at the time I felt so much trust in the relationship that I didn’t think we would ever break up. There were no mind games, no jealousy, no pretending to be someone we weren’t. It was pretty easy going and we enjoyed just being in each others company. I guess I also felt really secure because he chose me to share his thoughts and emotions with when he was usually a really reserved guy. 

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As special as that felt, things started to stale. I got sick of always being the one to initiate texts and phone calls so I stopped doing it. A couple days went by and I didn’t hear from him at all. A week went by and we entered the first week of university, still nothing. I packed up my pride and called him. We did a lot of small talk, I crafted numerous ways of asking “how is school and life?” because I was too afraid to bring up what was really plaguing my mind for the last week. He, too, danced masterfully around the topic. After about 3 hours, I bursted it out, “What is happening with us, where are we going?” And to my dismay, he replied, “Nowhere.” 

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When I asked if we could talk about it in person but he said that he was too busy studying for a French quiz. I only wanted 30 minutes of his time, but he couldn’t even give that up to explain things face to face. Afterwards, I sent him an angry text saying that I had the right to hear all of this in person and that he was being a coward. He never responded and we never saw each other ever again, especially since he was so good at darting in the opposite direction every time he saw me around campus. What made me angry the most was the fact that I had to call him to bring it up. If I didn’t call, he probably thought he could just drop everything and leave without an explanation. 

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Long story short, I went through a spectrum of emotions that lasted 2 years. I was heartbroken, then angry, then confused and I held on to the “what if” for a long long time. I finally snapped out of it when one of my bestest friends, P-, spent HOURS talking to me to help me dissect my feelings. She wanted to help me realize why exactly I was holding on, so that I can finally let go. And it worked. 

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After that, I spent 2 more years building walls around me. I told myself I never ever want to feel that heartbroken and vulnerable ever again. And I decided that the only way to prevent that from happening again is to not let anyone get too close and also to be the one who cares less. I got really good at that doing that and slowly I built some indestructible walls around my heart. Don’t know when this next step happened but I went from “self protection mode” to “commitophobe mode”. 

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Recently, a friend has been talking to me a lot about the dynamics of relationships and asked me why I haven’t given dating a serious try again. Then she told me something about vulnerability that I never gave thought to: the strengths of being vulnerable. One point in particular stuck with me and that is being vulnerable means you can feel the good things as intensely as the bad things. “By keeping yourself from feeling and by holding yourself back, you’re also keeping out the good things in life”, she said. To which I responded, “Good point.” 

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This was some very timely advice because I had just met someone. This time, I decided to take a leap of faith instead of looking for exits. The windows in my walls were opening up, making me vulnerable once again. But guess what, he too just walked out on me with no warning and no explanation. Does this remind you of anything? It was like my life just replayed exactly what happened 4 years ago. I’m embarrassed to say this but I was really upset. The first time I decided to put myself out there and feel vulnerable again… and I was greeted with that same awful experience. My windows shut closed and my walls rebuilt faster than ever. I’ll probably spend the next 4 years shutting myself out again. 

For those of you who are also “commitophobes”, what is holding you back?

For those of you who are in relationships, what do you love about it?

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Raspberry Chocolate Dutch Baby

2/3 cup low-fat milk (I didn’t have any fresh milk so I used skim milk made from powder and it worked just fine)
2 large eggs, plus 1 large egg white, at room temperature
2 tbsp granulated sugar 
2 tbsp unsalted butter, melted, divided
1 tbsp pure vanilla extract
1 tsp vanilla bean paste (I swear by Nielsen Massey)
2/3 cup all-purpose flour
1/4 tsp baking powder
11/4 tsp salt 

Position a rack in the center of the oven and preheat oven to 425 degree F.  Place a 10-inch ovenproof skillet in oven to heat.

In a blender, combine milk, eggs and egg whites, sugar, 1 tablespoon of the butter, vanilla extract, and vanilla bean paste.  Blend until smooth, about 1 minute.  Add flour, baking powder, and salt and blend for 30 seconds more.

Remove skillet from oven.  Pour the remaining butter into the hot pan and swirl to coat evenly.  Pour in batter.  Bake until Dutch baby is puffed and golden, 30 to 35 minutes.  Best eaten asap!

Recipe from the Pure Vanilla cookbook

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